Why Estate Planning Is the Ultimate Act of ‘Self-Care’

By Alan D. Feller, Esq.

I used to think “self-care” was an excuse to blow off plans.  

“Are you joining us for lunch?,” someone might ask. 

“No, today is a self-care day.”  

But I have come to understand that taking the time to seek out stress-reducing activities is a necessary part of life.  

Try to think about it this way: we used to come home from work or school, check the mailbox, and then go inside.  

Maybe your kitchen phone rang once or twice before you went to sleep. Eat dinner, watch TV, do some work, read a newspaper, then go to sleep.   

Now Flip to 2025: you have dozens of emails in your inbox and dozens of text messages which keep pouring in all day. Meanwhile, social media eats up more time and bombards you with video and text. Your phone is still ringing, mostly scam calls, but you still look. Work messages arrive after hours. You have multiple calendars operating – time conflicts are everywhere. 

With more exact scheduling, you are on the move more often, going from appointment to appointment. Can you feel the anxiety building? I’m ready for some meditation after re-reading this paragraph.

The constant stream of information provides more opportunities to remind you of what you’re missing. 

Not having your estate planning in order is always a major topic. The pandemic exploded into our lives and upended the complacency we took for granted as life meandered along. Sitting criss-cross applesauce in the woods is not the only stress relieving activity that matters. Bringing order to your world means having your financial life organized.   

So, how do you get started? 

Basic self-care may start with a solitary walk – walking, breathing, thinking.  

Estate planning self-care begins with your priorities. What is important to you and what makes you nervous? Start with a financial advisor. Having a professional review your financial life will illuminate the areas of concern and etch the first markings of a plan. 

A financial plan will pull in income, expenses, investments, retirement funds, interest rates on your mortgage, car loans and college costs.  Financial projections for your family allow you to see a trajectory that extends for decades. What you do today and the habits you maintain can create a wonderful future. Without a financial advisor, you may never see that.

Estate planning is a major topic of financial advising. Accumulating resources and fine-tuning your financial life is fine in the abstract, but when an illness or death occurs that could all fly out the window.  

Setting up a will to name guardians for minor children, drafting advance directives to appoint decision makers in case you get sick, updating beneficiary statements for insurance and retirement accounts, and creating trusts to avoid probate and protect assets for long term care are important goals to maintain financial stability in the face of life’s uncertainties.  

Along with an accountant who can guide you through the taxation minefield, estate planning and elder law attorneys provide a depth of knowledge that can steer a nervous family around trouble.   

As the pieces of your financial life come together, your apprehension should subside. 

Nature may take its course, but you will have confidence that the work you did leaves your loved ones in a good place.  

The next time that your friend uses the “self-care” excuse to leave you hanging – give them the benefit of the doubt.  

They are not lying on their couch posting photos of illegally parked cars in their neighborhood on Facebook or experimenting with their new pizza oven. They are (hopefully) working on their estate planning.  

Alan D. Feller, Esq. is managing partner of The Feller Group, a law firm dedicated to the practice of elder law and estate planning, located at 625 Route 6 in Mahopac. He can be reached at afeller@thefellergroup.com. Contact the professionals at The Feller Group for more self-care ideas.