Valuable Lessons Learned From a Good Friend
Opinion Advocates for ideas and draws conclusions based on the author/producer’s interpretation of facts and data.
By Bill Primavera
That call that I had been dreading came the other day, and I’ve been somewhat sad since. I learned from a mutual friend that my former colleague Patricia had died.
I sensed that something was wrong because I hadn’t been able to reach her for some months. Our mutual friend had told me at one point that she was in a nursing home near Poughkeepsie, but when I called they refused to disclose any information about patients, even whether she was there.
But then I learned from Pat’s sister that indeed she had been there, but had passed away late last fall. I was greatly disappointed in myself that I had not paid closer attention to her situation with failing health.
Pat and I had several things in common. We had both been born in the same month and year and we both had professional careers in the culinary field, she as a caterer and I as a publicist for restaurants and celebrity chefs. Also, we both enjoyed a somewhat off-kilter sense of humor, always succeeding in making each other laugh over everyday situations. We had met years ago when she was a student at The Culinary Institute of America and I was its director of public relations.
I find that the news of Pat’s death has affected me in several ways. Besides regretting that she and I had lost touch through the years, I found myself contemplating my own mortality and questioning whether I was enjoying life to the fullest each day. Never before have I been so aware that our days on Earth are finite. The death of a good friend can do that.
Since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, just like everyone else, I have been somewhat isolated at home and restricted in my activities when outside the home. Because of that, it hasn’t been the most joyful period in my life. But this death of a good friend really drove home the message of the inevitable in my consciousness.
It has also made me more aware of the simple pleasures I derive from my home where I now spend most of my time. I must confess, perhaps somewhat immodestly, that I consider my home a great place, combining antique furnishings, paintings and accessories with the comfort of modern accommodations for seating and dining.
From the very outset of my living independently from my parents, I strove to surround myself with comfort and beauty, both as a bachelor and later with my wife, whose interest in collecting nice furnishings, art and accessories for our home immediately surpassed mine.
But back to Pat. A year ago, she contacted me and asked that I represent her as a realtor for the sale of her home. I was more than happy to oblige.
But when I visited her home to conduct a comparative market analysis, I was stunned to find that my dear friend had developed a problem during the years we had lost touch – she had become a hoarder. In fact, of the several cases of hoarding that I had encountered since becoming a realtor, hers was the most severe case I had ever seen, and probably equal to any of the outrageous case histories you might see on that sad television show about the problem.
When entering her home, I had to be careful in wending my way through the piles of items clogging each room I entered.
But the amazing thing about Pat was that she was joyful to be with, always bright and cheerful, seeming blissfully unaware of the seriousness, even the dangers, of her surroundings. Her happy outlook managed to downplay her problem with letting things go and to put her visitors at ease.
Well, I thought, if she can look at the world through rose-colored glasses and not be deterred in any way with the plight of her living conditions, certainly I can appreciate my home without the regret that I am stuck there day to day.
Before I sat down to write this piece, I walked through my home and really saw each of its special features, appreciating each piece of furniture and décor for their beauty and their history of adding joy and interest to my life. It’s a good thing to be more keenly aware of our surroundings at home, especially when our time there has been expanded considerably.
Bill Primavera is a realtor associated with William Raveis Real Estate and founder of Primavera Public Relations, Inc., the longest running public relations agency in Westchester (www.PrimaveraPR.com}. To engage the services of The Home Guru to market your home for sale, call 914-522-2076.
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