Supporting the Sandwich Generation: Taking Care of The Caregiver
Opinion Advocates for ideas and draws conclusions based on the author/producer’s interpretation of facts and data.
By Mary K. Spengler
Many Westchester residents struggle to find a balance between work and home responsibilities. Those who fall in the “sandwich generation,” typically qualified as those in their 30s or 40s, can find themselves with the unique role of bringing up their dependent children while also caring for their aging parents, all while juggling their careers.
Multigenerational needs became even more pressing during the pandemic, with record numbers of adult children moving back home, younger children having to switch to virtual or hybrid learning and elderly parents needing new forms of care.
Sandwich generation caregivers provide an important source of support and love to family members, and often experience feelings of satisfaction and meaning in their lives from being in this role.
However, many also feel highly strained and overwhelmed due to the emotional, physical and financial burden weighing on them. Implementing positive strategies to better care for themselves while they care for others is imperative to combating caregiver burnout.
The challenges of caring for an aging or ailing loved one can impinge on the ability to get work done at the office, spend time with your children or participate in hobbies. However, a combination of strategies, resources and support can help caregivers continue to focus on their work (even when working from home) while balancing the duties associated with caring for a loved one.
Make a schedule. Incorporate caregiving tasks into your daily routine. To map out a feasible daily or weekly schedule, add these duties to other professional and personal responsibilities, such as meetings, appointments and events, so you can view all tasks at once. Choose times for caregiving tasks that are least disruptive to your schedule, such as early mornings for processing paperwork and midday for phone and e-mail communication with a loved one’s care team. Try to contact doctors in the early morning to give them time to get back to you during the day. Do not hesitate to drop nonessential activities from your list.
Set reasonable workday limits and boundaries. When possible, avoid scheduling work-related meetings at times designated for caregiving duties. You may want to even designate certain hours when you are unavailable except in the case of an emergency. Make sure that your support team at home and at work are aware of your availability for caregiver-related calls to aid with scheduling.
Have a backup plan for work coverage. Developing emergency procedures as well as keeping an organized summary of client and project status will allow your coworkers to keep the office running in your absence. Brief colleagues so they can fill in if an emergency pulls you away from work unexpectedly. Store important files on a laptop or portable storage device that you can use while away from the office.
Delegate. Some of your daily tasks could likely be taken over by others, both at work and at home. Delegating appropriate tasks to colleagues and family members will leave you with additional time during the day to focus on priority tasks.
Communicate. Explain your situation to your boss, coworkers, employees and even clients, where appropriate. Ask your boss for input and guidance on how best to handle work issues in the event of a caregiving emergency. Talk with coworkers who have gone through similar situations; they can often provide advice by relating their own experiences. Speak frankly with your partner, spouse, siblings and other loved ones about how they can support you. Being open and honest with your children, when appropriate, can also help.
Keep a list of resources. Reach out to family members and friends who have offered to help. Identify community resources, including social workers, geriatric care experts and contacts at the hospital and other healthcare facilities.
Evaluate your financial options. In-home care such as hospice care, palliative care and nursing care may be more affordable and more comprehensive than unpaid leave from work. You may be able to work out a part-time schedule as a way to maintain an income stream and a connection to your career. Sit down with an accountant or social worker to discuss the impact of caregiving on your job, income and lifestyle. Despite your best intentions, you may not be able to commit to long-term caregiving.
Be honest with yourself. Recognize when caregiving is adversely affecting your health, work or family life. Take a step back to determine the best balance between work and caregiving and seek out the support you need to protect your own mental, emotional and physical well-being. State what you can and cannot do, and say no when needed.
Take time for yourself. Personal time is absolutely essential for those managing a full-time job and caring for a loved one. Explore options for using personal time for both caregiving and self-care, and remember that taking time off, even for a half-day or just a few hours, will not adversely impact the company or your job.
Do what makes you happy. Caregivers should not forego enjoyable activities. Spend time with friends. Gardening, reading, painting, exercise and meditation can help to alleviate the stresses of caregiving. Determine your needs, whether it’s a 15-minute walk or a regular videochat with friends, and be firm about making this happen.
For additional information, call 914-682-1484 or visit www.hospiceofwestchester.org.
Mary K. Spengler is a registered nurse and licensed nursing home administrator and serves as CEO of Hospice of Westchester.
Examiner Media – Keeping you informed with professionally-reported local news, features, and sports coverage.