PV Media Coordinator ‘Very Hopeful’ After Switching Genders
For more than a decade, Tony Arrien has worked as the videographer for the Town of Putnam Valley, taping hundreds of municipal meetings and other public events during that tenure.
Usually behind the camera, he came out in front of the camera last month during a Putnam Valley town board meeting to introduce himself to the town for the first time as Anthony Arrien, after he transitioned from female to male earlier this year. Formerly MaryAnn, Tony Arrien said he feels the best he’s ever felt since switching genders even as the issue of transgender rights continues to result in political contention across the country.
Arrien said from an early age he knew he was the wrong gender. When Arrien put on little dresses, it just didn’t feel comfortable. But growing up through the 1950s in Queens and as part of a Roman Catholic family, it was out of the question to bring up the transgender issue.
“It’s something I thought I would take to my grave,” he said.
And through adulthood, Arrien continued to live as a female but finally reached a point where it was time for a change. He read every book at the LOFT Center, an LGBT organization in White Plains, and then went on Amazon and bought about 50 books to read.
It took time for Arrien, a Putnam Valley resident, to turn his thoughts about transitioning into action.
First, Arrien had to mentally overcome her own transphobia and accept who he is. It took nearly two years.
“Nobody wants to be transgender,” he said. “Trust me. It’s a lot to face.”
Then, Arrien needed to socially reach out to friends and associates he knows. He told his closest friends with the hope they wouldn’t reject him and branched out from there. He informed Putnam Valley town board members privately. (He noted the town board and employees at town hall have been accepting.)
And finally there is the medical transition, which Arrien started Jan. 5. In took about three months to get facial hair and to maintain a manlier look he’ll need to inject himself with testosterone for the rest of his life once every two weeks.
When Arrien went in front of the camera at the April 19 meeting, he was admittedly nervous. But he was also at ease because he finally felt comfortable in his own skin. Since he’s undergone his transition, he doesn’t feel as anxious.
Scott Havelka, Director of Programs and Services at the LOFT Center said the organization is seeing more and more people decide to transition.
Havelka, a Brewster native, said one of the misconceptions about transgender people is that the desire to be the opposite gender is just a phase. He also scoffed at the misconception that transgender people could be predators. A lot of fear about transgender people is the “fear of unknown,” Havelka said.
Arrien stressed being transgender isn’t a lifestyle choice, but who he is.
Arrien now facilitates a transgender peer support group at the LOFT Center twice a month where participants can range from four to 18 individuals. He’s been going for two years and for the first six months was one of those people attending meetings to discuss what he was going through with others. Now he wants to lead the discussion, particularly for younger adults dealing with issues stemming from being transgender.
“We encourage people to really be your best advocate for yourself,” Havelka said. “And Tony has done an amazing job of educating himself and educating others.”
Arrien began working for the Town of Putnam Valley in 2001, videotaping and producing videos of board meetings and other community events and was responsible for running the two channels in town.
“I basically run it as a one man band,” Arrien, who primarily works from home, said.
Arrien has been involved in several community groups and activities. He was chair of the Putnam Valley community arts group for ten years and filmed many events. He is also a landscape painter and will even travel to Arizona to paint the desert. He is an amateur astronomer too.
When Arrien looks back at old photos as a female, he can’t believe it. He describes the gender transition like “waking up from a bad dream.”
“I feel like I’m only starting to live now,” Arrien said. “It’s a very happy and very hopeful time for me.”
