Parenting Pep Talk: Explaining Therapy to Children
Children come to expect doctor’s appointments. Every few months to a year children go to the doctor to get blood taken, for shots, and to have their teeth examined. These kinds of doctor’s visits keep you healthy and are necessary, parents explain to children. Many parents have a harder time, however, if their child needs to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. They have trouble explaining why their child has to visit this different kind of doctor. Many parents fear that their child will feel different or become stigmatized for seeing a therapist. However, parents often find that their child actually likes going to therapy once they get started. Here are some tips for helping you and your child get used to the idea of therapy.
Manage your own anxiety. Children pick up on apprehension. If your child thinks you are reluctant to attend an appointment he will be too. Talk to your spouse, helpful family and friends, or your own therapist about your fears. Try to understand what exactly scares you so much about this particular appointment without burdening your children unnecessarily. Avoid putting too much pressure on yourself or your child. If this particular therapist or approach doesn’t work for you or your family, you can find someone else who does.
Tell children what therapists help with. Children discuss a wide range of topics with therapists. Some kids find it useful to get help with friendships, difficult emotions, and family conflicts, to name a few. The therapist listens, provides support, and helps children develop coping strategies for when things get tough. They can also help children learn to communicate better with parents and friends, which can be particularly useful as children grow into adolescents or teens and many topics become complicated.
Allow children some control. Let children have some control over their appointments when possible. Find out if your child would rather have you attend the session with him or if he’d rather go in alone. Ask if he’d prefer a break in between school and the session or if he’d rather go straight there. Don’t force a weekly appointment if you don’t have to. Every other week could be sufficient at least to start. Talk to the therapist beforehand so you know how flexible he or she is with regards to scheduling and approach. Many will try to work with you and your child to ease him into the process.
Talk to like-minded parents. You might be surprised to learn how many children are in individual and/or group therapy these days. The stigma isn’t what it once was. If fact, many parents are looked down upon for failing to recognize their child’s need for help rather than for seeking it. There are many support groups out there for parents of children with conditions like autism, but many times you wont have to look far beyond your child’s own classroom to find like-minded parents. Don’t be afraid to be the first to speak up. Others wont be far behind.
Dr. Jaime Black is a licensed psychologist practicing in Westchester and New York City. Jaime works with high-functioning individuals on the autism spectrum, doing psychotherapy, conducting evaluations, and facilitating various socialization groups including an improv social skills group. Visit www.spectrumservicesnyc.com, e-mail JaimeBlackPsyD@gmail.com or call (914)712-8208.
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