Parenting Pep Talk: Balancing Academics and Extracurriculars
Finding a balance between academics and extracurricular activities is challenging, but it is key to helping children succeed in school and beyond. There is a lot of pressure out there, not only to get good grades but also to be involved in sports, art, school politics, or all of the above. Academics and extracurriculars are both important and require commitment. Here are some tips for helping you and your family achieve some balance and hopefully some sanity too.
Talk openly with your children. Don’t sign your children up for activities without discussing it with them first. Find out what they are interested in and be honest about your reservations. Let your children know if you are concerned that too many extracurriculars will interfere with academics. It’s OK to let them know that a certain activity will look good on a college application, but try not to make that your only focus. It’s also OK to share with them financial concerns. Some activities are costly, and it might not be realistic for children to do everything every year.
Be creative. Not all kids want to play football or become a cheerleader or run for student council. Some very passionate and intelligent kids just don’t thrive in the public eye or in a competitive environment. Be creative. If your child loves animals, consider having him volunteer at an animal shelter after school or do a summer internship at the zoo. If photography is her thing, look in to mentorship programs that connect students with young adults who will explore the world and take pictures with her. There are plenty of activities out there that keep children physically and mentally active.
Schedule breaks. Burnout is real for children as well as adults. Some children can’t handle playing a sport every season. Most kids can’t mentally handle studying for hours straight, no matter how important an upcoming exam is. Teach and encourage time management skills throughout the year so your child isn’t pulling an all-nighter before exams. Studying in 45 to 60 minute segments can be ideal for many children. Walking and stretching in between segments can help them recharge.
Find a balance between competitive and non-competitive activities. Competition is real, and it’s beneficial for children to be exposed to friendly competition even at a young age. That doesn’t mean, however, that every activity should be about winning and losing. Activities like biking or jogging can be good for kids who enjoy exercise without competition, and they can continue to be enjoyed even after the season is out. Classes like painting or ceramics provide a good opportunity for children to meet like-minded individuals with varying levels of skill. Some activities can be done just for the sake of fun.
Don’t underestimate the importance of sleep. “Parents spend so much time and money optimizing their children’s success yet the one thing they are not doing is making sure their kids get enough sleep,” says Judith Owens, M.D., past chair of the Pediatric Section for the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. Most teenagers get only seven hours of sleep each night while research at Brown University has shown that they actually need nine. Children who get the recommended amount of sleep are more likely to do better in school and less likely to develop disorders such as depression and anxiety.
Be a role model. Make time for your family and for yourself. If you don’t practice what you preach and maintain some balance in your own life, you can’t expect your children to do so either.
Dr. Jaime Black is a licensed psychologist practicing in Westchester and New York City. Jaime works with high-functioning individuals on the autism spectrum, doing psychotherapy, conducting evaluations, and facilitating various socialization groups including an improv social skills group. Visit www.spectrumservicesnyc.com, e-mail JaimeBlackPsyD@gmail.com or call 914-712-8208.
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