Is it OK for my 13 Year Old to Watch Kid Shows?
Question:
My daughter is a 13 year old, fairly high functioning kid with autism. She frequently watches TV shows that are well below her age, for ex, Telletubbies and Barney. We encourage her to watch more age-appropriate shows which she does mostly, but several times a week she wants to watch the other shows. I would prefer she watches material that will help her understand social situations a little better. Should I not allow her to watch the younger programming? Why does she continue to watch this? Will she outgrow it?
Answer:
Many parents are concerned when their children have interests that are young for their age. Particularly when children have special needs, immature interests raise concerns and fears parents have about developmental progress. It is very common for individuals on the autism spectrum to have special interests. Sometimes these interests appear immature and other times they are well beyond their years. In either case, special interests serve to comfort individuals. This is true for both children and adults. Anyone who knows a person on the autistic spectrum knows that repetition and familiarity are comforting to them.
Persons on the autistic spectrum are constantly asked to do things outside of their comfort zones. From the time they are diagnosed, children are immersed in therapies that aim to bring them out of their own worlds and into a more social and communicative world. Of course, these therapies are crucial for helping individuals on the spectrum reach their potentials, but therapy and even general day-to-day interactions can feel like work, even when it is rewarding. It is important for individuals to have activities they find comforting and not overwhelming. You don’t want them to become lost in these activities, but it is OK for them to engage in them.
Do you know what your daughter likes about these shows? Could it be the colors, voices, etc? You can use these favorite shows as tools to open up conversation. Make the show about more than passive TV watching. You can let her watch and then ask her what she likes about it. If she can’t articulate it, you can help her, which will aide her ability to categorize her preferences. Many times when children (or even adults) on the spectrum have melt-downs it is because something is bothering them and they might not even know what that thing is. For example, as adults, individuals on the spectrum who don’t recognize their preferences and needs cannot ask for accommodations that will help them be successful. Sometimes something as simple as a change in lighting can make or break a person’s ability to do their job.
Your concerns are understandable. Clearly, you want your daughter to spend her time engaging in meaningful activities that will benefit her. As long as her television time is limited, you can think of her time watching these shows as beneficial to her in some respects. You want to be careful not to judge her, though you can nudge her in the right direction and, as I mentioned previously, use the shows to engage her in conversation. Also, you can explain that Barney, for example, isn’t the kind of show she will want to watch when friends are over. Without judgment, you can explain that while she likes it, most children her age are more interested in other shows. This may or may not influence her desires or behaviors but, again, it helps her understand herself. Together you can discuss how she feels about having younger preferences.
Children and adults with autism are often creative and appreciate aspects of the environment that neurotypical people do not. They do see the world differently and as we strive to help them fit in to the normative world, we should also try to see things from their perspectives. Its difficult but imperative for parents to achieve a balance between helping children fit in while maintaining a unique and true sense of self.
Jaime earned her doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Yeshiva University. She works in a private practice in NYC doing psychotherapy and evaluations. Jaime’s specialty is in working with individuals of all ages on the autism spectrum. www.spectrumservicesnyc.com. JaimeBlackPsyD@gmail.com. (914)712-8208.
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