If Not Now, When? Reasons to Enjoy Your Best Household Possessions
Opinion Advocates for ideas and draws conclusions based on the author/producer’s interpretation of facts and data.
By Bill Primavera
One of the saddest stories I’ve encountered in my lifetime happened when I was representing a celebrity chef for public relations.
It was during the AIDS epidemic and, unfortunately, he had contracted the disease. He would have some terrible days, but he tried his best to live as normally as he could, keeping up with his professional commitments.
At one point, I was surprised when he announced that he was going on a tour of Italy with a group of friends, even though he was at one of his low points health-wise. He turned to me and said, “If not now, when?”
A really horrible aspect of this story, as he later shared with me before he died, was that he became very ill while traveling on that trip and couldn’t continue on with his group. At the time, the hospitals were filled in that region and he could not be accommodated. Instead, they placed him in a jail cell, which was able to offer him shelter and a place to sleep while his group traveled on, abandoning him there until he was able to recover enough to get a flight back to America.
Without his knowing it, he had planted in me a seed that gradually germinated into my way of life, that is, to do it now rather than wait. While I had that lesson to learn, my wife Margaret was way ahead of me.
We’ve been married for many years, but one day, about seven years ago when we moved to a brand-new condo at Trump Park in Shrub Oak, I noticed that my morning breakfast was plated on her best china and served with her best crystal glasses and sterling silver flatware. What’s this, I asked?
She gave me a similar answer to the celebrity chef’s: If not now, when?
It’s kind of funny when you think about what most of us do; usually we save our best stuff only for special occasions. But why? Are we afraid of wearing it out or breaking a piece of crystal or china? Perhaps so, but is that worse than having our finer things squirreled away in a kitchen cabinet, just waiting for us to eventually die and leave it to someone else to not use? For my wife and me, that philosophy is so over.
Today, each day, we use the “good” china and crystal with joy. I swear, I think it makes the food and beverages taste better. For sure, it enhances the experience of each meal.
This reminds me of another story of enjoying life in the moment. My mother- and father-in-law were wonderful people who had it rough early in their marriage, escaping Communist rule when their native Lithuania was annexed to Russia after World War II. They immigrated to America and worked very hard to have some of the better things in life.
When their hard work afforded them their own home with some nice furnishings, the new sofa and side chairs were covered with sheets to shield the fabric from fading by the sun, whenever there were no visitors expected. It was an “occasion” when the sheets were removed for company, and I can totally understand.
When I had my first apartment in New York City, I wanted to replicate a bit of the colonial charm I had known in Williamsburg as a student at the College of William & Mary. I was delighted to find that the wonderful B. Altman’s in the city, now long gone, had a Colonial Williamsburg department where, as soon as my salary permitted, I acquired some pieces, a settee and some framed print reproductions. I was so protective of the Scalamandre fabric I chose to cover the settee that I tended to resent it when any visiting guest actually sat on it! Imagine living that way? Hopefully, I’ve eased in the ensuing years, especially after my philosophy about “using it now” was formed after my celebrity chef client had died.
As a side note, when I visited B. Altman’s to purchase that settee, I invited a female co-worker to join me. It was sort of a first date with the woman who soon became my wife, and together we have been enjoying sitting on that same settee for many years.
Never once have we thought that we might be wearing it out by using it daily.
Bill Primavera is a realtor associated with William Raveis Real Estate and founder of Primavera Public Relations, Inc., the longest-running public relations agency in Westchester (www.PrimaveraPR.com). To engage the services of Bill Primavera, The Home Guru, to market your home for sale, call 914-522-2076.
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