How to Stick with New Year’s Resolutions
It’s the time of year when people reflect on their lives and their habits and resolve to make changes. Popular goals include weight loss, quitting smoking, and getting out of debt. According to some polls, the single most common New Year’s resolution – made annually by more than 50% of Americans – is to spend more time with family and loved ones. Despite all the good intentions, many people fail to stick with their goals and ultimately find themselves vowing to make the same changes next year. Why does this happen? What will make success more likely this year?
Most people are aware that change is a process. A person cannot, for example, achieve their goal of losing 20 pounds overnight. A person cannot create a business overnight. There are steps involved. However, when making resolutions, most people make a general resolution, such as “I will quit smoking” and fail to devise a plan. Plans must be concrete and attainable. They should not be abstinence-based, but rather allow for mistakes and treat lapses as setbacks and learning opportunities. Otherwise, you are more likely to give up entirely. It is simply too easy to revert back to the familiar and comfortable. You should also reward yourself for small successes along the way.
Parents do not spend time away from their children because they want to. Time management is difficult, particularly for parents who work long hours. If “wanting to spend more time with family” is your general goal, think about reframing it in terms of what is doable and measurable. For example, a potential resolution might be to have dinner with your family at home a certain number of days each week. You can also reframe other resolutions. If you want your child to do better in school, for instance, rather than simply making grades the indicator of success, try framing the goal in terms of how much time you spend helping your child with homework. Parents can make other simple and attainable resolutions, such as appreciating a child’s smile in the morning before leaving for work.
It is easy to be motivated in January and more difficult as the year progresses. With all resolutions, it is crucial to have a measurable plan of attack. If you want to lose weight, plan to exercise a certain number of times per week rather than use the scale as your success indicator. You may not be able to control the number on the scale, but you can control the time you spend working towards that goal. If you want to quit smoking, try limiting your intake before expecting yourself to break an entrenched habit overnight. For parenting resolutions, you can’t expect your schedule to change just because you want it to, but you can reexamine your day and check for pockets of time that might be spent with family. Set goals that are within reach. When resolutions fail, it is typically due to a lack of planning and the setting of unrealistic goals. Start small. Reward yourself along the way. Treat setbacks as learning opportunities rather than failures, and keep at it so you are not making the same resolutions next year.
Jaime earned her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Yeshiva University. She works in a private practice doing psychotherapy and evaluations. Jaime’s specialty is in working with individuals of all ages on the autism spectrum. www.spectrumservicesnyc.com. JaimeBlackPsyD@gmail.com. (914)712-8208.
Examiner Media – Keeping you informed with professionally-reported local news, features, and sports coverage.