The Importance of Feeling Safe at Home (and How to Achieve it)

By Bill Primavera

It is impossible for me to dull the memory of that nightmarish middle-of-the-night experience when my wife Margaret awakened me and told me that she had had a dream that a man was in our bedroom, looking down at us as we slept.

At the time, we were living in our first home in the historic neighborhood of Brooklyn Heights, which to that point we had considered very safe. But when Margaret went downstairs to make breakfast, she found that our back door, which opened from the kitchen, had been completely removed from its hinges!

Her dream had actually happened, and our privacy and security had been breached by some unknown figure who seems to have spent some time in our home that night, even in my child’s bedroom (stealing her piggy bank) and even helping himself to a snack of Ritz crackers in our downstairs kitchen. The thought that a burglar had been in my young daughter’s bedroom all but drove me crazy.

We had a large collection of books that we found had been rifled through. Only then did I learn that some people hide money in books.

I started to have nightmares that I encountered a burglar in my home, but the story was different: I awoke and killed the intruder, strangling him to death with my bare hands. I sometimes wonder (and shudder) to think of what might have happened had I awakened to find that burglar lurking above our bed.

Fueled by the memory of that experience, even years later, I suspect I would have attempted to kill him. And with no regret. It’s amazing what a breach of security can do to one’s mind.

From then on, we lived differently. I installed security gates on the back door, which had been completely removed by the burglar (How stupid I realized that we had tolerated a primitive door with outside hinges.)

This may sound silly, but I kept a large cobblestone at the base of a second-story window, directly above the front entrance, poised to drop it and crack an intruder’s head open. Obviously, I had been transported to a state of irrational fear, combined with an almost dangerous level of hostility toward the outside world. My response to this condition was to leave the city, which we did as soon as we had the opportunity.

By happenstance, I moved to a Westchester town that last year was named by Newsweek as one of the safest in the nation. The website MoneyGeek named it the safest small town in the country. Unwittingly, I really went for broke.

Here are ways suggested by Safewise Security systems to be safer in your home.

1. Brighten your surroundings. Yes, we may associate fear of the dark with childhood, but it’s probably the number one reason we feel unsafe. Brightening our surroundings can help us feel less vulnerable.

Try installing all energy-efficient bulbs in your outside lights and keeping them on whenever it’s dark.

Get outdoor lights with sensors. They help you know if something outside is moving. (A lot of four-legged critters trigger such sensors.)

Keep low lights on, like plug-in night lights, even in the lesser-used parts of the home.

2. Shut out the night. Before it gets dark outside, close your blinds and curtains. Even though you can’t see outside, people outside can see you very clearly at night if your windows are exposed.
3. Avoid dark, overgrown corners in your landscaping. Your own yard could be a source of fear if you see dark shadows outside. If you can, clear out those corners and trim back the hedges.
4. Fix the creaks and groans. On an unusually windy day, you’ll probably hear a few extra sounds from your home and yard. You might have a back door that thumps with the wind or tree branches that scrape your siding or windows. Find the sources of these noises and take care of them so you can ease your nerves on those blustery days. One of my memories from long ago is of my daughter, as a three-year-old, hating our new, very old historic home because the floor creaked.
5. Play music or turn on the television at night. Blocking out the normal outside noises may help you feel less worried about your safety. This should be done primarily if you have a security system in place that will clearly notify you and the authorities when there really is a danger.
6. Know your neighbors. It’s a good way to build community, make friends and get help when you feel unsafe. Exchange phone numbers so you can text or call to check in or ask for help.
7. Use a security system. A security system is probably your best tool for feeling safe. A properly installed and functioning security system helps improve your safety, which then helps you feel safer. It can also help satisfy you visually and aurally because you can have security cameras that allow you to see what is happening around your house. You can also have alarms that sound to alert you of intruders.

Employ these devices and feel as snug as a bug in a rug.

Bill Primavera is a realtor associated with William Raveis Real Estate and founder of Primavera Public Relations, Inc., the longest-running public relations agency in Westchester (www.PrimaveraPR.com). To engage the services of The Home Guru and his team to market your home for sale, call 914-522-2076.

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